Never Split the Difference: 6 key ideas
The core ideas of Never Split the Difference, each in under a minute, written in our own words. Want the full depth? Get the book.
- IDEA 1 OF 6
Tactical empathy
Understand the other side's feelings and perspective, and show you understand.
People who feel heard become more flexible.
- IDEA 2 OF 6
Mirroring
Repeat the last few words someone said, as a question.
It keeps them talking and reveals information.
- IDEA 3 OF 6
Labelling
Name their emotions: "It seems like you're frustrated." Labelling defuses negative feelings and builds trust.
- IDEA 4 OF 6
Aim for "no"
People feel safer saying no.
Asking questions that invite a no can start real discussion.
- IDEA 5 OF 6
Calibrated questions
Ask "how" and "what" questions, like "How am I supposed to do that?".
They make the other side solve your problem.
- IDEA 6 OF 6
Find the black swans
Hidden pieces of information can change the whole negotiation.
Listen for them.
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